The messy middle of alchemy.
over 1 year ago
– Fri, Dec 08, 2017 at 11:32:36 PM
You know the spot. The one where you're a third of the way through some dark portal you don't quite understand. Maybe you're in a dry spell. A sad lull. A frantic panic because the magic isn't happening no matter how bad you want it.
So often, my clients will be one third of the way into their reclamation (not that these things have clean timelines or anything), and with fear on their faces, they'll ask me, "How long will this take?" "Has anything even changed?" Then we'll pause and I'll say, "I know. It's a brutal bitch and shouldn't be so hard, but it is." And then I'll ask them what they can be proud of themselves for. What's changed. What's different. And they'll have so much to report – way more than they even realized. And they'll know they can't turn around now; that they just have to keep going toward the light with fierce faith and insatiable hunger.
Sometimes we have to fight for new life.
Other times, we have to remember that the tunnel is long and we must rest on our journey.
A few days of this week I was that frantic forgetful client. Not about sexual trauma – but about the Kickstarter. My lizard brain got the best of me and I couldn't stop spinning in fear, even though logically and even spiritually, I felt utterly full of faith. I was under a spell of subconscious, irrational, panic and exhaustion.
The feeling was familiar – that emergency brain take-over that happens when we're overwhelmed. The hazy fog that turns our whole lives into anxious mush until we reconnect to our natural blueprint of health. So I called up Jodi to help me do just that.
"Jo, I'm complete mush over here. Will you hold space for me as I re-make a self-care list? I don't need pep talks, just to get my body back in order." "Of course, Rach." And then she did that awesome, joyful, earth-angel Jodi thing she's so darn good at doing: quietly believed in me.
The next day, I turned off my phone and computer. I lit candles in the kitchen, played classical music, and cleaned out the bottom drawers of my refrigerator. I took a long walk, went grocery shopping, had heart-to-hearts with the Lyft drivers, made chili on the stovetop and had a friend over for tea.
This is how we survive the messy middle of alchemy. We move at human speed. We become candle light. We clear out that which has been rotting at the bottom of our psyche, taking up invisible space. We reclaim our right to not always fight. We walk in nature. We rest without alarms. We give in to the dark where it's quiet and calm. We let ourselves feel held by it instead of running from it.
We embody trust, instead of just thinking it.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you've given to this Kickstarter already. I'm so grateful to be together and truly trust we're gonna make it to our goal.
If you backed the Kickstarter because you're in your own messy middle and are hoping this book can be your guide or reminder of how to get through, know that I'm pouring every story and strategy I have into this book for that very reason. It sucks to be in the messy middle alone.
Speaking of... I believe in you. Quietly. With tender joy and unwavering faith in my heart.
We've got this.
Big love. Endless thanks. Here's to our collective alchemy.
PS–Is there a small and doable way you'd feel great about moving this Kickstarter along? <3 rachaelmaddox.com/street-team has useful, easy sharable images and links. Pass 'em along to a friend for whom it might change everything. Two weeks to go!! Thanks again, wonderful humans. Youda best. xo
PPS–We've made it over $12k! Woo hoo!
I'm about to sit down for an early morning writing block...
over 1 year ago
– Wed, Dec 06, 2017 at 04:24:04 PM
Three hours of carefully pouring stories and frameworks onto pages you'll one day read. Before I do, I imagine those pages being read by thousands of hopeful hungry hearts, and I intend for every word to transmit permission. Permission to align to your body's pace of healing. Permission to feel difficult feelings. Permission to shed identities that are outdated and constricting. Permission to love sex. Permission to learn how.
I love the prayerful time just before writing when I remember that we are together in a wave of change so much bigger than me or this book; when I ask for our collective momentum of health and hope and reclamation to do the writing.
Speaking of our collective wave of awesomeness! — We've received four $500 scholarships through the Kickstarter! My heart has bursts into overflowing happy tears every time a scholarship has come through. And I just want to offer the hugest thank you to Ann, Sunni, Tracey and Elizabeth for such major solidarity.
In the same breath, I imagine you're each here for that very same reason. We are ready to shift our culture, and we are wiling to start with ourselves—to be part of the answer.
The cosmic dream team is what I like to call us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being with me, for showing up to practice.
I'm going on Facebook live TODAY (Wednesday) at 1pm to talk about how you can apply for a scholarship. Here's the link to catch it in real time:: facebook.com/rachmddx
We're almost to 100 backers! Would you keep the magic alive and share the Kickstarter? Via email, Facebook, Insta, text message or smoke signals? You can go right here for easy sharable things:: rachaelmaddox.com/street-team
Thank you, lovers.
I'm so grateful to be together.
Now... getting out of bed, making some coffee, and... doing the job I love to do.
Day 1 Gratitude!!
over 1 year ago
– Sun, Dec 03, 2017 at 07:49:53 PM
Day 1 of this Kickstarter was amazing!
30 backers and over $5,000 raised!
I'm so appreciative to each person whose backed, shared, and loved on this campaign.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I'm in Portland with my two best friends and we've been dancing and singing our hearts out in celebration.
Wishing each of you were here dancing and singing with us. This is such a celebratory campaign.
Yes, horrible things happen and healing from them can be utter hell, but it does happen, and I'm so grateful for the chance to write to you from the other side.
If you feel inspired to share the link with friends via email or on social media, that would be an awesome gift.
Sending love and gratitude your way!
65 Incredible Humans! Thank you!!
over 1 year ago
– Wed, Nov 29, 2017 at 05:57:38 PM
Hello beautiful humans,
Just popping in to give an overflowing bundle of GRATITUDE. I'm so inspired by your generosity, sharing and caring with the Sex After Trauma Kickstarter.
Fun story, just because:
This morning, I biked to a nearby coffee shop to do some writing, but I'd forgotten both my computer charger and phone. I ended up talking with another regular who I found out is also writing a book! (We would have never known had I not been deviceless and actually looking around to connect with people.) THEN, the guy to my right chimed in asking about my book. I told him and he replied with, "Well that's certainly very important. Thanks for writing such a needed book." Turns out this guy is also writing a book. The three of us, table to table in the coffee shop, joked that we were creating an impromptu Author's Lane.
Sometimes life sends little oracles of confirmation that we're on the right track. This morning, Author's Lane felt like one of those oracles. I was grateful for that.
And again, I'm incredibly grateful for your support. I wouldn't be writing this book if you didn't think it mattered and I could do it justice. So thanks for believing in me. Thanks for trusting me to get the job done well. And thanks for your financial and emotional support.
We've reached over $8,000 (almost 20% of our funding goal), and I'm confident that by Friday we'll get to $12,000 (30%).
If you feel called, I'd be so grateful if you helped spread the word. Share the Kickstarter in a text, e-mail or on social media to move the movement into more hearts and homes. Here's the link:: bit.ly/sexaftertraumabook
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Love love love,