ReBloom: From trauma to trust in sex, love and society

Created by Rachael Maddox

Soulful stories and practical guidance for sexual and emotional healing after trauma. Let's revive our collective garden, together.

Latest Updates from Our Project:

144 Earth Angels :: Personal Thank You's <3 (WE MADE IT OVER HALF-WAY!)
over 1 year ago – Wed, Dec 20, 2017 at 11:23:42 PM

Hello beautiful humans,

Sending over a heartfelt THANK YOU to you each for backing this beautiful movement. 

WE'RE HALF-WAY FUNDED with 9 days to go!!

To be totally honest, running a Kickstarter is an emotional rollercoaster. It reminds me a little bit of riding a bicycle over a mountain (yes, I've done that). Your body gets so exhausted that eventually there's nothing left to do but surrender everything to the Great Mystery, then watch yourself in a sort of other-worldly-way, make it over the top. 

I do believe we're going to make it (though one can never be quite sure!). 

But for now, today... I just wanted to say thank you to each of you for showing up and showing your support for this movement of whole self reclamation and sexual healing. 

You've each touched my heart so very much. So, without further adieu... I've written you each little thank you notes:::

(Those of you who signed in as "Guest" I'll just be thanking in fun ways. Those of you who I don't yet "know", I'll be thanking you soul to soul.)

THANK YOU:::

1. Jodi, thank you for being number one in my life in so many ways, all the fricking time, including now. I love you.

2. Cindy, thank you for your forever sisterly solidarity and tender awesome courage.

3. Tam, thank you for your brave brave heart.

4. Sarah, thank you for your generosity, soul, enthusiasm and power.

5. Skaja, thank you for the way you champion, the way you let yourself lean in.

6. Amanda, thank you for your curiosity and rigor, your love that fuels it all.

7. Tanya, thank you for taking a chance on me. For doing it for you.

8. Mara, thank you for teaching so soulfully along side me. And for your gorgeous oracle cards that salve my heart daily.

9. Rasa, thank you for your true-blue age-as-old-as-time friendship.

10. Stephanie, thank you for letting your heart sing, for working with the children, for letting yourself be held.

11. Marie, thank you for your gentle yes, your readiness, your courage, your determination.

12. Chelsea, thank you for your SISTERHOOD. solidarity, like whoa. gotchur-backness.

13. Anna, thank you for being such an aligned megaphone on integrity and healing.

14. Leo, thank you for your rawr, your library of helpful tricks...and all the magic.

15. John, thank you for your love of lineage and your willingness to trek through time to reclaim something healthier and holy.

16. Guest, thank you for saying a generous yes. 

17. Guest, thank you for standing on the side of healing.

18. Jeanette, WOMAN, thank you for being so many things to me: muse, friend, get-er-done go-to champion, catcher of words, homegirl. 

19. Guest, thank you for wanting to shake your booty with me!!

20. Ashley, thank you for living on (and tending to, and being nourished by) land I lived on (and tended to, and was nourished by) for a long time!

21. Dori, thank you for your heart-melting kindness – I can feel it from here.

22. Tonya, thank you for knowing how to keep safe that which is sacred.

23. Amma, thank you for letting yourself still shine bright, even now, even after, even when.

24. Guest, thank you for wanting my voice in your earholes, for trusting that my stories will be worth it. :) 

25. Katie, thank you for letting the tears fall when they must.

26. Judy, thank you for being in it to win it, for your song and your soul and your sisterhood forevermore. I love you.

27. Dan, thank you for being an awesome Kickstarter supporter – and for your hunger, courage and heart.

28. Tom, thank you for your incredibly needed work, for forging a path few have walked.

29. Guest, thank you for wanting us to win.

30. Sarah, thank you for letting yourself lean in. 

31. Elizabeth, thank you for the long-time love and the otherworldly light.

32. Caitlin, thank you for what you hold in your hands with great care.

33. Rachelle, thank you for your true-blue e-mail responses and heart-and-soul growth.

34. Julie, thank you for staying in, for walking through, for not giving up.

35. Guest, thank you for still shakin your hips even though it can be scary sometimes.

36. Guest, thank you giving such heartfelt hugs.

37. Eleanor, thank you for pimping me out to your peeps, your heartfelt solidarity, your good good work in this world.

38. Nancy, thank you for your dream of a better world.

39. Guest, thank you for your ecstatic sublime poetry.

40. Leslie, thank you for your dream seeds, the way you plant them and tend to them so devotedly.

41. Jane, thank you for walking through that fire, for rising from the ash.

42. Deb, thank you for those moments when you turn all that outward love inward and let yourself receive your own medicine.

43. Guest, thank you for trusting the little things are worth something big.

44. Shannon, thank you for your pristinely soft and wildly devoted heart. Your love feels so good.

45. Julie, thank you for singing in the shower. 

46. Natalie, thank you for your alchemy – your own, and that which you give to the world. For taking a stand. For changing the direction of things.

47. DAD!!!, thank you for all you give and all you don't give. It's the perfect balance of supportive and empowering. I love you. 

48. Cherie, thank you for letting yourself be found again – for trusting that holy light is safe to re-emerge.

49. Brian, thank you for standing with us so strong and true.

50. MOM!!!, thank you for being here now, for being the flesh that bore me, for FaceTiming in the middle of the night when I'm sick. I love you!

51. Jennifer, thank you for making your own light in the dark in small and sacred ways that travel far across the stars.

52. Sunni, thank you for your huge ripple of love and generosity... for letting torn things mend... for surrendering and opening. 

53. Yoji, thank you for your radical yes, for stepping into it, for softening.

54. Lionessa, thank you for your longtime support and ever-strengthening majesty. You are a gorgeous soul to see.

55. Marc, thank you for being with me!, for being with yourself!, for finding love in tender places.

56. Ismilealot, thank you for putting your love in the places that matter.

57. Tigre, thank you for your gentle and wild, your steady and silly, your whole soul power.

58. Ann, woman. Thank you for letting me walk so many of your worlds with you - traveling through life together is a blast and a blessing. and thank you for your forever and ever devotion to women rising together.

59. Tom, thank you for loving the women in your life so well.

60. Mindy, thank you for baring your insides for me (and us) to read, for walking your soul path so honestly and beautifully.

61. Jaime, thank you for spending time with the rocks and the trees (I know you know what I mean...).

62. Diana, thank you for being such a fiercely loving friend.

63. Guest, thank you for believing we can do this together.

64. Guest, thank you for putting your money where your soul wants you to go.

65. Harmony, thank you for telling me you'd back this project and then backing it – for your epic smile and open spirit.

66. Annie, thank you for the radically healing work you do – in your own life and in the world... for uplifting the unheard voices.

67. Skye, thank you for coming home to the sweetest secret of all – you are good, you belong, you're worth it all.

68. Simon, thank you for holding your hands out, for opening your palms, for catching things that are falling, for receiving the blessings.

69. Rachel, thank you for laying down on your back and letting yourself remember in your body what your mind seemed to forget.

70. Francesca, thank you for staying so close to your body. 

71. Diana, thank you for letting your fingertips graze the softness of your flesh, your heart, your truth.

72. Aethyric, thank you for hearing spirit's call and following it so fully.

73. Tracey, thank you for giving so many women a chance to say yes to themselves in ways they might've never thought possible. Holy advocacy. 

74. Tyson, thank you for your respectful energy, your honest heart, your powerful truth, your poetry. And a lot more that doesn't have words.

75. Guest, thank you for letting your body come all the way back to life.

76. Elaine, thank you for still believing in magic. :)

77. Bgannin, thank you for always wondering how you can give more. I see you, generous one.

78. Rose, thank you for staying close to the earth, for remembering the truth of Her.

79. Elizabeth, thank you for too many things – mostly, the alignment. And...the epic queen shit.

80. Guest, thank you for letting yourself hear and follow your hungers.

81. Mahyuddin, thank you for sprinkling solidarity and cash money across planet earth.

82. Starmaru, thank you for breaking so many rules to be true to your liberated soul.

83. Amanda, thank you for your fierce fight, your soft trust.

84. Jamie, thank you for being so honest with yourself, and for educating the next generation about to be better with each other. <3

85. Heather, thank you for letting their lies go so you can stand firmly in your truth.

86. Guest, thank you for wanting to sing all the magical Shabbat prayers with me!!!

87. Guest, thank you for hearing the call in your belly, for listening, for saying yes.

88. Chance, thank you for being such an epic pillar of love for our girl Steph and so many others, I'm sure.

89. Mikaela, thank you for your sharing so generously the magic you find everywhere you go. (PS–I'm still sending that package your way!)

90. Christina, thank you for holding on to hope. 

91. David, thank you for dancing us all the way home.

92. Guest, thank you for being part of our movement.

93. Jennifer, thank you for your prayers that heal.

94. Kim, thank you for magic 17, for staying with me, for staying with you so truly.

95. Mallory, thank you for being a brave advocate, a courageous life-chaser, a true-soul liver.

96. Tim, thank you for your cle attraction, your ready and willingness, your beautiful heart.

97. Annie, thank you for still believing in magic.

98. Grace, thank you for speaking truth to power, for opening so vulnerably, for all your solidarity and love.

99. Suzanne, thank you for giving your gifts to the world. For not holding back.

100. Karen, thank you for your true-blue sisterhood through years and fears and storms and seasons. I love you. 

101. Guest, thank you for letting the sun kiss your face especially on those days when you've lost all hope.

102. Sarah, thank you for reminding us all to keep breathing. It helps. You encouragement makes a difference.

103. Guest, thank you for wanting to feast and drink and sing and be merry!!! Thank you for saying yes to lineage and ritual.

104. Allison, thank you for your epic hugs. I can't wait to experience this in the flesh. :)

105. Guest, thank you for invoking miracles of presence everywhere you go. Your attention feels like angel medicine.

106. Shiopei, thank you for your courage to lean in, your willingness to speak out, your heart that hasn't given up.

107. Linda, thank you for your VOICE that ripples with ancient beauty and divine wisdom. 

108. Beth, thank you for your quiet yes to the impossible dreams of desire in your soul.

109. Guest, thank you for trusting my words as your guide... and for taking this brave step forward.

110. Jose, thank you for standing strong with us. For believing in a better world and way.

111. Kori, thank you for being a safe space for so many. For extending your magic love back in to yourself.

112. Jill, thank you for gifting yourself small bits of pleasure, over and over and over. It matters.

113. DEMMAAAAA, thank you for crawling out of that basement into the most epic, powerful, potent light around. And for singing my praises so enthusiastically :). I love you forever and ever. 

114. Elissa, thank you for letting your body still move and groove and choose deep and utter aliveness, even now, even after all this. ! 

115. Martin, thank you for your devotion to shifting this culture together... for being part of our grand new earth.

116. Meghan, thank you for opening your heart to a new way, for letting yourself take a chance on true healing.

117. Michelle, thank you for being such a powerhouse of possibility, for channeling true love through your body.

118. The Selkie Delegation, thank you for your laughter. For remembering to infuse the world with light, even now, even when we could all go so very dark.

119. Leah, thank you for pouring so many cups of tea... for warming hearts with your care, for caring for yourself just as well.

120. Guest, thank you for fueling this movement with resourced power. I feel your commitment all the way from here.

121. Guest, thank you for knowing that every little bit counts. And for counting. Because you care. 

122. Guest, thank you for giving a woman a chance to heal with a little more ease, a little more magic and serendipity on her side. 

123. David, thank you for those cozy warm socks, the conversations that opened doors in my world, and saying yes to being part of the healing. <3 

124. Guest, thank you for wanting to make magic in a dark world. You did. You do. You matter.

125. Guest, thank you for choosing Light. 

126. Lola, thank you for ALL YOUR BLESSINGS everywhere you go, and for traveling long and far with me. I love you, sister.

127. Eva, thank you for the way you twirl like a little girl because it's never too late to return home to innocence.

128. Chris, thank you for what you do!!! I'm so so glad to be in this movement together, and can't wait to support your creations in the world as well.

129. Laura, thank you for your bravery on SO many fronts... for giving your gifts, for holding onto hope, for saying YES to this wild ride. With you!

130. Jessica, thank you for giving yourself the sweetest hugs and care!

131. Kit, thank you for your incredible laugh and epic light-casting.

132. Shane, thank you for saying YES to dancing with me! For believing in the power of your body.

133. Susan, thank you for adding your magic to our epic pussy revolution. It's an honor to walk beside you.

134. Amanda, sistahhh, thank you for your epic belief and trust in me, and for all the ways you love so wholeheartedly.

135. Alan, thank you for tossing your love in the bucket.

136. Josie, thank you for believing in a better world, and most importantly, that you're allowed to receive more of it.

137. James, thank you for co-creating peace on earth.

138. Nicole, thank you so much for trusting in the mystery even when it's hard.

139. Guest, thank you for trying again. I think it'll be better this next time around. <3

140. Carly, thank you for letting yourself lay down in the truth of it all and weep and receive and pray and say these words, "I love myself, even now." 

141. Jennifer, thank you for that night at the temple and your beautiful unforgettable soul.

142. Jordan, thank you for going all in, for dancing through the messy middle so truly. I believe in you all the way.

143. Anne Marie, Thank you for feeding your true hungers healthfully... for insisting that you're worth it. 

144. Golden!, thank you for being with me for soooo long, and for letting yourself say YES to the tenderest, truest wants. <3 And for so many other things. 

YOU HUMANS ARE SO POWERFUL. Thank you for helping me birth this book into the world. I believe in the medicine it will provide, and I'm so grateful I can produce it thanks to your incredibly generous support.

We have 9 days left to raise just under $20,000. This is 100% doable. 

Behind the scenes, I've been talking to many women who will join either the Sex After Trauma Sisterhood or School (so bigger pledge amounts will be coming in over the next few days).

But what I'm wondering is this: would you be willing to send the link for the Kickstarter to 5 friends for whom it might make a great difference?  Perhaps a friend who experienced unwanted sexual attention, who struggles with intimacy, who's been through the worst of it? Or maybe just sharing on social media with a heartfelt reason why you care?

If each of you has just 1-3 friends back the Kickstarter at $30 each, we'd raise about $10,000 quite quickly. 

I believe in us.

I believe even with all the ugliness in the world, there are epic amounts of light, and we can make miracles with it. We can.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

BIGGEST LOVE & so much GRATITUDE!

Let's finish this baby out strong.

xoxox,

Rachael

PS–You can go right here for some handy images and starter sentences for sharing the campaign.

The messy middle of alchemy.
over 1 year ago – Fri, Dec 08, 2017 at 11:32:36 PM

You know the spot. The one where you're a third of the way through some dark portal you don't quite understand. Maybe you're in a dry spell. A sad lull. A frantic panic because the magic isn't happening no matter how bad you want it.

So often, my clients will be one third of the way into their reclamation (not that these things have clean timelines or anything), and with fear on their faces, they'll ask me, "How long will this take?" "Has anything even changed?" Then we'll pause and I'll say, "I know. It's a brutal bitch and shouldn't be so hard, but it is." And then I'll ask them what they can be proud of themselves for. What's changed. What's different. And they'll have so much to report – way more than they even realized. And they'll know they can't turn around now; that they just have to keep going toward the light with fierce faith and insatiable hunger. 

Sometimes we have to fight for new life. 

Other times, we have to remember that the tunnel is long and we must rest on our journey.

A few days of this week I was that frantic forgetful client. Not about sexual trauma – but about the Kickstarter. My lizard brain got the best of me and I couldn't stop spinning in fear, even though logically and even spiritually, I felt utterly full of faith. I was under a spell of subconscious, irrational, panic and exhaustion. 

The feeling was familiar – that emergency brain take-over that happens when we're overwhelmed. The hazy fog that turns our whole lives into anxious mush until we reconnect to our natural blueprint of health. So I called up Jodi to help me do just that. 

"Jo, I'm complete mush over here. Will you hold space for me as I re-make a self-care list? I don't need pep talks, just to get my body back in order." "Of course, Rach." And then she did that awesome, joyful, earth-angel Jodi thing she's so darn good at doing: quietly believed in me.

The next day, I turned off my phone and computer. I lit candles in the kitchen, played classical music, and cleaned out the bottom drawers of my refrigerator. I took a long walk, went grocery shopping, had heart-to-hearts with the Lyft drivers, made chili on the stovetop and had a friend over for tea. 

This is how we survive the messy middle of alchemy. We move at human speed. We become candle light. We clear out that which has been rotting at the bottom of our psyche, taking up invisible space. We reclaim our right to not always fight. We walk in nature. We rest without alarms. We give in to the dark where it's quiet and calm. We let ourselves feel held by it instead of running from it. 

We embody trust, instead of just thinking it.

Sweet friends, 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you've given to this Kickstarter already. I'm so grateful to be together and truly trust we're gonna make it to our goal.

If you backed the Kickstarter because you're in your own messy middle and are hoping this book can be your guide or reminder of how to get through, know that I'm pouring every story and strategy I have into this book for that very reason. It sucks to be in the messy middle alone.

Speaking of... I believe in you. Quietly. With tender joy and unwavering faith in my heart. 

We've got this.

Big love. Endless thanks. Here's to our collective alchemy.

xox,

Rachael

PS–Is there a small and doable way you'd feel great about moving this Kickstarter along? <3 rachaelmaddox.com/street-team has useful, easy sharable images and links. Pass 'em along to a friend for whom it might change everything. Two weeks to go!! Thanks again, wonderful humans. Youda best. xo

PPS–We've made it over $12k! Woo hoo!

I'm about to sit down for an early morning writing block...
over 1 year ago – Wed, Dec 06, 2017 at 04:24:04 PM

Three hours of carefully pouring stories and frameworks onto pages you'll one day read. Before I do, I imagine those pages being read by thousands of hopeful hungry hearts, and I intend for every word to transmit permission. Permission to align to your body's pace of healing. Permission to feel difficult feelings. Permission to shed identities that are outdated and constricting. Permission to love sex. Permission to learn how.

I love the prayerful time just before writing when I remember that we are together in a wave of change so much bigger than me or this book; when I ask for our collective momentum of health and hope and reclamation to do the writing.

Speaking of our collective wave of awesomeness! — We've received four $500 scholarships through the Kickstarter! My heart has bursts into overflowing happy tears every time a scholarship has come through. And I just want to offer the hugest thank you to Ann, Sunni, Tracey and Elizabeth for such major solidarity.

In the same breath, I imagine you're each here for that very same reason. We are ready to shift our culture, and we are wiling to start with ourselves—to be part of the answer.

The cosmic dream team is what I like to call us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being with me, for showing up to practice.

Two announcements!::

  1. I'm going on Facebook live TODAY (Wednesday) at 1pm to talk about how you can apply for a scholarship. Here's the link to catch it in real time:: facebook.com/rachmddx

  2. We're almost to 100 backers! Would you keep the magic alive and share the Kickstarter? Via email, Facebook, Insta, text message or smoke signals? You can go right here for easy sharable things:: rachaelmaddox.com/street-team

Thank you, lovers.

I'm so grateful to be together.

Now... getting out of bed, making some coffee, and... doing the job I love to do.

xoxo, Rachael

Day 1 Gratitude!!
over 1 year ago – Sun, Dec 03, 2017 at 07:49:53 PM

Wow!

Day 1 of this Kickstarter was amazing!

30 backers and over $5,000 raised!

I'm so appreciative to each person whose backed, shared, and loved on this campaign.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm in Portland with my two best friends and we've been dancing and singing our hearts out in celebration.

Wishing each of you were here dancing and singing with us. This is such a celebratory campaign.

Yes, horrible things happen and healing from them can be utter hell, but it does happen, and I'm so grateful for the chance to write to you from the other side.

If you feel inspired to share the link with friends via email or on social media, that would be an awesome gift.

Sending love and gratitude your way! Xo, Rachael

65 Incredible Humans! Thank you!!
over 1 year ago – Wed, Nov 29, 2017 at 05:57:38 PM

Hello beautiful humans, 

Just popping in to give an overflowing bundle of GRATITUDE. I'm so inspired by your generosity, sharing and caring with the Sex After Trauma Kickstarter. 

Fun story, just because: This morning, I biked to a nearby coffee shop to do some writing, but I'd forgotten both my computer charger and phone. I ended up talking with another regular who I found out is also writing a book! (We would have never known had I not been deviceless and actually looking around to connect with people.) THEN, the guy to my right chimed in asking about my book. I told him and he replied with, "Well that's certainly very important. Thanks for writing such a needed book." Turns out this guy is also writing a book. The three of us, table to table in the coffee shop, joked that we were creating an impromptu Author's Lane. 

Sometimes life sends little oracles of confirmation that we're on the right track. This morning, Author's Lane felt like one of those oracles. I was grateful for that. 

And again, I'm incredibly grateful for your support. I wouldn't be writing this book if you didn't think it mattered and I could do it justice. So thanks for believing in me. Thanks for trusting me to get the job done well. And thanks for your financial and emotional support. 

We've reached over $8,000 (almost 20% of our funding goal), and I'm confident that by Friday we'll get to $12,000 (30%). 

If you feel called, I'd be so grateful if you helped spread the word. Share the Kickstarter in a text, e-mail or on social media to move the movement into more hearts and homes. Here's the link:: bit.ly/sexaftertraumabook 

Thank you, thank you, thank you! 

Love love love, 

Rachael