ReBloom: From trauma to trust in sex, love and society

Created by Rachael Maddox

Soulful stories and practical guidance for sexual and emotional healing after trauma. Let's revive our collective garden, together.

Latest Updates from Our Project:

The Unexpected Depth in Delays
5 days ago – Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 08:22:24 PM

Hi beautiful humans,

The other week, at the end of a client session as we were standing at my front door saying our goodbyes, my client asked as a random aside...

By the way, why is your book taking so long to finish?

I sigh-smiled, paused for a moment, then told her the truth:

You know, I've had to live the material all the way through. I'm not delivering this book from my head. It's a book of lived wisdom and inquiry, felt-sense knowing and felt-sense not-knowing. Ideological blahblahblah is easy. Transmitted essence takes time. Also... I've started over three times.

We laughed. She understood immediately because we'd been moving through that very process together – the one of felt-sense understanding over intellectualized pretense. The one of iteration and depth over superficial "completion". She'd learned it's not fast. It's deep.

So many of us didn't grow up in a culture that makes room for developmental growth, for wisdom to form at it's own honest pace. We rush ourselves into roles of pre-emptive expertise. We've lost so much of the long-term apprentice model that was once the path to earned and embodied expertise.

I'm understanding more and more what Audre Lorde so famously wrote – the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house. The rush of Collapse Culture will never deliver the depth needed for the new world we're co-creating together.

ReBloom is a book with big aims towards personal and collective healing, liberation even, after personal and collective trauma... in sex, in love, in community. I'm devoted to embodying its medicine as I create it, as opposed to writing it at a shallow, rushed or traumatic-to-me pace.

When I first launched the Kickstarter for this book, I didn't have that awareness. I was still trying to operate from the speed of Collapse Culture. I thought everything I needed to write was already formed inside of me. But my body and spirit (which I'd learned to listen to well enough, thankfully) wouldn't let me. The medicine of the work I'd been studying and teaching worked on me... slowed me down.

Last week, I had the chance to talk with esteemed intellect Daniel Schmachtenberger about my book. I told him it's taking a much longer time to write than I'd expected, for the reasons mentioned above. His response was both helpful and affirming.

You know, Sex at Dawn and The Catcher and the Rye took 10 years to write. Harry Potter took 5 years to PLAN before ever putting fingers to keyboard. We don't need more quick fix surface-level books, he whispered, blue eyes piercing with clarity. We need more depth delivered with devotion.

I exhaled big thanks.

On to you – 

Because I care about your trust and appreciate your support, let me loop you in with some of the slow and meaningful ways I've been devoting to ReBloom over the last 18 months:

  • I've written and re-written 80% of the book. (240 page manuscript so far...)
  • I've done thorough multiple-part interview processes with 7 "ReBloom Role Models" about their personal post-traumatic growth stories, most of whom have different backgrounds and intersecting identities than mine. 
  • I've explored the publishing route, had meetings with high-level authors and publishing people, sought lots of council about the best way to get this medicine out into the world.
  • I've woven a colorful, animated allegory throughout the book that makes the whole picture more digestible and potent. 
  • I've made altar cards that refine the wisdom of the ReBloom Model (PDFs right here if you want to get an early peek at the magic!!), and a Coherence Practice has emerged, with which one can awaken the 7 Natural Blueprints of Health through movement and mantra.
  • I've envisioned the interior design that will feel like art, blessing and miracle to hold.
  • I've been studying the influence of systemic oppression on physiology, as well as consulted with a few experts on cultural trauma. 
  • I've trained 10 coaches in the ReBloom Model, featured the specifics of this material at workshops for over 20 people, and taught it to a dozen 1-1 clients. Through teaching and facilitating, I've learned even more about this body of work, and what I've learned has woven back into the body of the book. This material is so alive.

I am so grateful I get to invest in this book and body of work with rigor and devotion every day. And you will absolutely benefit more from the extra time it's taking. There is an unexpected depth in delays, and I'm celebrating that the delay of ReBloom has only strengthened its medicine. Thank you for trusting the timing with me.

Just yesterday, I finished running a 4-day ReBloom Your Sexuality workshop. The 10 women who came received so much about how to heal their relationships to love and sex by embodying the ReBloom Archetypes. We spent most of our time connecting to Worthiness (the Soul Seed) and Sovereignty (the Gatekeeper)... the ability to know what we need and then receive those needs safely, the ability to honor and protect embodied and emotional limits. When we build conditions of health personally and interpersonally, the natural emergence of amazing sexuality can bloom. Sometimes without even focusing on sex! There is so much on this topic in ReBloom, and I can't wait to share it with you.

Again, you can view and download the Altar Cards that go through each Blueprint and Imprint right here, if you'd like to dive into the medicine of this work today.

Thank you, thank you, sweet brave souls, for your patience and your trust in my creative process. For honoring the natural emergence of this book. For your continued excitement and love! I am so so grateful for you... and wildly excited to birth this book in the most divine timing.

Here's to reblooming the whole damn garden...together.

xox,

Rachael

ReBloom is going someplace unexpected!
4 months ago – Wed, Mar 13, 2019 at 11:24:27 PM

Hello beautiful Kickstarter Backers!,

We're nearing Spring Equinox and in my dream world I'd be writing to let you know that ReBloom is about to hit the press. But that's not the case! The reality is, this book has a SOUL OF ITS OWN that no matter how much guiding or steering I've tried to do – it takes the wheel. It's in charge.

The great news is, ReBloom is going someplace unexpected. Someplace I kept feeling it was supposed to go, but was too nervous or timid to take it. You can probably guess where that is, but for now, I'm refraining from saying the words publicly. 

Instead, I have an ask. And it's this:

Would you imagine the medicine of this book (one of story and soul and so much significant healing) getting planted into the best possible soil where it can fully thrive and give its gifts? 

Would you trust with me the divine timing of its bloom?

Thank you. So much. Really.

As far as the writing goes... here's a bit of an update!

photo by my incredible genius editor, Andrew Leonard
photo by my incredible genius editor, Andrew Leonard

Last week, I did a 4-day book writing immersion that was true and utter soul-nourishment.

I didn’t go away to a cabin in the woods by myself.

I dove into a village. 

I deleted my apps and blocked email and social media on my computer.

I dropped into present place and time fully... without having to be a self-care monk.

I wrote for 3-hours non-stop early in the morning, candle-light flickering as the garden-light grew outside my window. 

Then workshopped with my editor over lunch, took a long walk through the crisp graveyard, wrote a bit more in the afternoon.

At night, I co-explored the archetypes, the allegory, the heart and poetry of all things ReBloom with three 60-somethin' personal development junkies over dinner, red wine, grief and desire.

It was a dream come true experience.

Not because the book got finished in record time or my tangible goals were reached. (We're at a solid 88% draft. Was aiming to finish in-full.)

It was a dream come true because the experience was ALIVE. Animated. Cooperative. Connected.

And this connection – that happened in-person, with candle light and meals, rhythms of togetherness and community – added more value to the medicine of ReBloom than any top-paid blahblahblah ever could've.

ReBloom got breathed into deeper Being. I got breathed into deeper being.

...I think in this day and age with so much time spent holding our breath staring at screens, we could all use more time connected, in the flesh, breath-to-breath, sharing meals, ideas, grief, desire.

If you're longing to be together in the flesh, would you hit reply and let me know? I'm planning something really special in the coming months, and I'd love to know where you live and if you're hungry for in-person ReBlooming.

Okay... thank you again for your continued support and trust in this process. 

ORGANIC. ReBloom wants an organic, sustainable, regenerative birth. Really grateful to be honoring that.

Big love.

xox,

Rachael

When a book writes YOU. (ReBloom Update)
12 months ago – Wed, Aug 08, 2018 at 08:34:58 PM

Beautiful people,

THIS BOOK has taken me on a JOURNEY. And I am so so grateful for it.

Some things that are becoming crystal clear as I journey with the soul of ReBloom. 

1. Sex is the seed of humanity. 

2. Depending on the health of our collective soil (and our unique identity planted in a unique place and time), our roots either penetrate and expand into the depths of the underworld so we can root and RISE with vibrant, life-giving capacity, or – our roots shrink and shrivel, stunting our capacity to grow into our soul's truest call, our hearts wildest expression. (PS–Our souls and hearts long for sexual vitality... Imagine yourself a flower! Helloooo, pollinating the ecosystem. Definitely part of your destiny.) 

3. In other words, what happens to your SEX happens to your LIFE.

4. In honest, honorable containers where the truth is revered and authentic wildness encouraged, your sex (and your life) grow healthy, sometimes heartbreaking, but ultimately inspiring Majesty.

5. In secretive, suppressive, scarce and shameful containers where sex (and life) must be bought and sold, wagered and won over, proven and provided like a penance for your existence, the worst of our humanity is revealed and our creative, pleasurable potential wilts and withers under the weight of both collective and personal trauma spells.

6. Moving from a culture of violence to a culture of trust, starting close close close in – with you, your heart, your body, your sexy parts, your sex life, your soul, your COMMUNITY – is what ReBloom is all about. 

7. This work cannot be done successfully in isolation. As such, I will be birthing a ReBloom Collective verrrry soon that'll be the TEAM of seasoned healers/teachers/guides. Together, we will train ReBloom Facilitators from all over the world, empowering them to build local, place-based healing communities for trauma resolution and whole-self reclamation/emancipation.

8. I am one of many doing my part in a GREAT MOVEMENT of cultural transformation. This movement won't happen from top-down approaches, but much like #metoo and the #silencebreakers, it will be fractal, grassroots, and relationship-based. I am so excited to be birthing a more circular leadership model in alignment with the frequency of the movement to which I'm devoted.

9. You see those various archetypes in the picture above? (Soul Seed, Gatekeeper, Expressionista, Sage, Groundskeeper, Pollinator and Sacred Gardener...) These are the core roots of identity reclamation that ReBloom will guide you through. They're also the leadership roles that all ReBloom Facilitators will grow in themselves and guide in their clients. They're ALSO a teamwork framework for forming a successful ReBloom Collective in your local community, wherein natural gifts can be put together to create potent, safe, trauma-informed offerings that heal and restore vitality to any ecosystem... See what I mean about a book writing me? It's been wild. And I am SO EXCITED about what's coming down the pike.

10. Yes – ReBloom will still answer questions about dissociation in sex and dating after trauma and moving from pain to pleasure, etc etc etc. It'll position that information inside a gorgeous, earth-based framework that will help you feel the bigger picture of your personal healing and our collective transformation.

All that said, know this –

ReBloom is taking longer to write than I had initially anticipated it would. From a name change to an editor change to the rearranging it's doing to me as I write it... I'm truly following the genius of this book's seed so it can grow the most vibrant and medicinal magic for you.

I so appreciate your trust and patience! 

I'm working out my new expected publish date, but it's looking like early spring 2019 is most likely. Bloom time, baby.

That's all for now. Except! If you ordered the DUO BOOK BUNDLE, including Secret Bad Girl, we will be shipping Secret Bad Girl to you sooner so you don't have to wait. 

Biggest love. Biggest gratitude. Thanks for being one of many doing your part, as well. I know you are. That's obviously why you're here. :) 

Love love love,

Rachael

PS! – Speaking of Secret Bad Girl... the audiobook is LIVE. Head HERE to tune into a preview and/or snag your copy. There's a free, printable Secret Bad Girl Manifesto at that same link that you can plaster all over your house for sacred reminders of how to love the shit out of yourself as you heal. Check it out. xox

Big Announcement! I changed the name of the book!
over 1 year ago – Mon, Apr 02, 2018 at 05:32:24 PM

Hello wonderful incredible humans,

Happy SPRING!

This winter, post-Kickstarter, was a time of great incubation and research for me. I've been working with 25 women in a Sex After Trauma School, and the experiences we've been having in that space are informing the book in seriously incredible ways. I'm thrilled to share with you a process that's so effective and powerful for holistic sexual healing after trauma.

Speaking of which... for a while now, the name of the book felt "off" to me. Like it didn't quite capture the full scope of the process that gives way to a transformed sex life.

So often I share with my clients that super satisfying sex is about all the things that aren't sex getting into alignment first. Then sex is the flowering, the bloom – but there's no bloom without healthy soil, sturdy roots, a solid stem.

So speaking of blooming... the new title of the book. Drum roll, please...

ReBloom – The Path to Healthy Sex, Love and Intimacy After Trauma

ReBloom is full of the same helpful stories, maps and strategies as Sex After Trauma (it's the exact same book, basically), but the central metaphor of reblooming ties it all together in a way that honors and highlights the embodied lifecycle of sexual healing.

I can't wait to share the whole concept with you in detail (!), but for now... I hope you love the new title and... thank you. I'm super grateful you've entrusted me to write this important book for you. 

It feels like a risk to change the name (Will you like it? Will you be mad at me for supporting something with a different name at first? Will the new name translate widely?), but my heart and soul know it's the right move. 

The name of a book, in a lot of ways, is like its destiny. This book begged me for a name that felt more vibrant and alive, hopeful and holistic. I heard the call, and heeded it.

So excited to get this baby in your hands, fall 2018.

Also! I want to give you a little update on backer reward fulfillment. So much has been happening behind the scenes!

Here's the run down of what's done and what's still to come for you, my awesome Kickstarter backers.

What's Done:: 

  • The Secret Bad Girl Song – Recorded in my pop-up living room studio with my besties on my birthday. Click right HERE to listen in. (Thanks, Matt Haeck for producing!)
  • The Safest & Sexiest Dance Party EVER – Was beyond fun, healing, luscious, ALIVE. Thanks for all y'all who came into town for this special event and boogied your souls with mine. 
  • Shabbat Dinner & Mini Music Concert – Okay, like... sweetest Shabbat ever. Lovely humans came from all over the country to linger around a table and feast and share stories and sing songs way into the night... so divine. 
  • The Sex After Trauma School – One month to go in this potent 4-month journey... we've gathered together week after week to unshame, reclaim and rearrange our relationship to our bodies, hearts, sex and sensuality. It's been big. And powerful. And vulnerable. And beautiful. 
  • The Sex After Trauma Sisterhood – Similarly, we've been meeting TWICE a week for 3 months and just experienced a 3-day, 4-night in-person retreat that ROCKED. The unshaming, the sensual erotic self-discovery, the solidarity and life-changing relationships... so palatable, nourishing, and life-giving. 
  • One-on-one's – Most of you have had your sacred sessions or we're in the middle of some tender magic. I'm so grateful to be traveling this brave territory together.

What's Still To Come:: 

  • All About Sex Interview Bundle – These juicy interviews are complete and in post-production now. Should be ready to send out within 2 weeks! 
  • Writing Through the Hard Stuff – Also all ready to go. Coming to your inboxes tomorrow! Woo hoo! 
  • All the BOOKS – for the sake of simplicity, here are the estimated drop dates for each book and format:: 
  • ReBloom E-book: est. July 2018 ReBloom Audiobook: est. September 2018 
  • ReBloom Paperback: est. September 2018
  • ReBloom Workbook: est. September 2018 
  • Secret Bad Girl E-book: est. July 2018 (second edition!)
  • Secret Bad Girl Audiobook: est. July 2018 (finished recording! In post-production now)
  • Secret Bad Girl Paperback: est. September 2018 (second edition!)

Note: If you ordered the Duo Book Bundle, the print books will ship together in a bundle in September. If you're dying to read Secret Bad Girl now, send us a line and we'll get it to you early. 

Also, please know you can email lisa@rachaelmaddox.com if ever you have a question about your reward fulfillment! (Thanks, Lisa, for all you do behind the scenes to move my work into the world!)

Okay, so that's all the big news.

Oh, and, I'm dancing 5 songs a day (one in each of the 5 rhythms) 5 days a week until the book is complete. Because... dance is sanity. Here's a fun 5rhythms playlist I made – if your body is aching to move and groove, it should do the trick. Enjoy!

BIG LOVE. So much. Thank you.

To reblooming this spring and beyond... 

xox, 

Rachael

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over 1 year ago – Tue, Jan 30, 2018 at 10:27:27 AM

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